My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
