i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
Randomize