so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Randomize
