Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Randomize
