But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
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