I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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