So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
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