His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Randomize
