sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Randomize
