your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
Randomize
