Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Randomize
