I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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