I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Randomize
