honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Randomize
