You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
