so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Randomize
