He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
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