So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
