Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize
