you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Randomize