I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Randomize
