"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
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