I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
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