Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
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