I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
The uberlube is also flammable
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Randomize
