omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Randomize
