I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
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