The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
What changed your mind?
Being sober
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
