But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Randomize