My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
