He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Randomize
