Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
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