i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Found the puke drawer
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
