i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
Randomize
