Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
Randomize
