You're my little dorito
i would punch a child for taco bell
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
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