So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
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