$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Randomize
