i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
Randomize