Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
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