Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize
