i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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