If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
