Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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