we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
