How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Randomize
