I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
