tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Randomize
