I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
Randomize
