what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
