How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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