I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Randomize