Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Randomize
