If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
I woke up under a house in Key West
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize