she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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