she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Randomize
