And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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