question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
My bed smells like the plague
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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