my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
I booty called her while she was in labor.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
Randomize
