after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
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