im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
I look excited, but its just a facade.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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