I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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