i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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